How did that happen? I thought I'd be better about updating this blog especially since Della gives me lots to ponder any given day. But, alas, things have still been stressful and we still don't own our house. It's been 5 months since we put in the first bid. It's sad because neither Greg or I are even excited about it any longer. So, yeah, don't ask about the house.
Today our plans were changed due to illness. We were going to spend the day at the farm with Pam, Marrin, Mom, Dad, Aunt B - but Marrin had stomach flu symptoms all night so Della & I went to El Amigo instead. She was very sad not to see Aunt Pam and Marrin since it's been a while. So, I let her choose a restaurant to go to instead. I thought I was making a simple matter of fact statement and told Della that she had a great grandfather from Mexico. I asked if she knew grandma Evie's dad was from Mexico. She said "from Mexico?" And I said yes. I asked if she knew his name. I could tell she couldn't remember so I told her, "Benito Zacarias" She looked very interested. But then she asked, "Did he die?" I told her "yes." "He died when I was 4yrs old" Della, "Was he old?" Me, "Yes, he was older than grandma, so he was an older man." We finished our food, but I could tell this was all on Della's mind. She asked again if he was dead. And when I said yes, she began sobbing. She said, "why did he die? I want to see him again!!" She kept saying that over and over again. I was thinking to myself- you never met him before, he died when I was four... - but, I did not tell her this. I simply comforted her. I am reminded of my own sensitivities as a child. I always resented being told I was "a baby." It always made me feel like my feelings didn't matter. I hope I can always have this kind of patience with Della to comfort her when she needs it and build her up with the strength to deal with things beyond emotion alone. Now, if we can just get that house...
off to bed.
